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currently encountering an wickedly vile person who would look best wearing a pair of red horns. will elaborate more later, but why are some people so miserable in life that they feel the need to try to ruin mine? oh, life and the millionth thing i'll never understand!
yay, today is black friday which is the biggest shopping day of the year. desarae answered the question, "why is it called black friday?" since she's in retail i think her answer is right..."it's the time of year when stores in the red go into the black which is good." there was something else she mentioned as an additional reason but that was in between the 2nd and 3rd glass of champagne so it's hazy.
today i am slightly hungover because nothing says thanksgiving more to me than drinking 3 glasses of champagne at top speed! the food and drink were delish and i got some surprise news that will unfold later- but it's really exciting! i want to shout it from the mountain tops- and no, i'm not engaged or pregnant!
tonight we're going to union square for the tree lighting and our obligatory slice of blondie's pizza. i can't wait to be pushed around and fight for parking!
can't wait- love this time of year. please be nice in the stores and on the roads!
this year i am thankful for the usual suspects: family, friends, pets, and some new ones... the fact that gram is fully recovered and cancer-free, that i survived a cruise during hurricane wilma and two moves- what a year!
hmm, i miss ralph. i'm thankful for match.com since that's how we met, and of course, thankful for ralph. :)
now...gobble, gobble. eat some meat and be thankful!
ralph loves cracklin' oat bran cereal so much that he bought it and it went stale. he decided to throw it in the garbage though we don't have a protective barrier for the trash bags which means no food can be tossed into our garbage because dog will spare no expense at getting to the goods. as luck would have it, ralph put his stale cracklin' oat bran into our garbage and dog got to the box and ate all of it (no surprise here)!
so, in case you were ever having a stagnant digestive system (and you wanted to change that), you should know that cracklin' oat bran did the trick for dog so it would probably work for you, too!
we took her out to the grocery store and i waited in the car with her while ralph shopped, and she farted nearly 30 times within 20 minutes- so loud that she looked around to see where the noise was coming from.
i can say now, there is nothing worse than a dog fart. my car has stench of dog farts now. yuck.
if you ever get the bright idea to paint your 5' by 8' kitchen dark purple, don't! i can say don't do it with 100% confidence since i just did it and now i want to cry. all that work! i think i put it best when i told ralph it looked like barney exploded on our walls. painting the kitchen has been a nightmare because the floors are a pinkish marble swirl and the countertops are denim blue. ugh, what was the prvious owner thinking? perhaps i should locate her current retirement home and ask! any color ideas that would work with blue and pink and our already painted light beige living room walls? this is driving me bonkers and i'm afraid the kitchen will not be completed by christmas! my arms are tired. i want to do something other than painting and priming walls when i get home from work! poor me. :(
yes! i passed my notary exam with 90%! i'm so happy i could just scream. this is a time when it comes in handy to work in the boon docks but since i don't i'm just going to tell everybody in my general vacinity even if they don't know who i am or that i was taking the test.
the laguna beach season finale sucked harder than the dyson! what the heck was that?! saying bye for half an hour when you're seriously moving to the next county! i simply don't understand this madness. i guess i was just really excited to move to the other side of the u.s. after h.s. graduation. as many of you know that excitement didn't last long because i moved back to the west coast shortly after. anyways, i really wanted to smack jessica and taylor. maybe i'm just in a really bad mood right now.
the 3rd lb season looks awful and i already don't like one of the characters (the girl who went to sr. prom with jason) already. something about her just bugs me! i'll most likely tune in for the premiere but it seems to me that my mtv days are coming to a temporary end- until they come up with another brillant reality show.
p.s. austin real world sucks, too! perhaps i'm just getting too old to relate to the youth of today's drama!
only i would buy tickets to see david allen greer (sp?) for the wrong night! ug, such a dork and a half. good thing my irresistible charm convinced the man at the improv to refund the tix so i could buy new ones for friday night, not thursday night. yay, we're seeing david allen greer- can't wait to laugh my ass off!
i love where we live simply because...
(last few weeks)
almost my entire shoe collection has been in the back set of my car, and if you know me you know this is quite valuable since i usually wear the comfort kind that are not so cute but for some reason cost a lot of $. so i'm really happy that the windows weren't broken for them!
(last week)
i forgot my purse on the passenger seat of my car (overnight) and the window wasn't broken for its contents, which is a really good thing because the only thing in my purse are 5 types of gum and 4 types of lip glosses. the purse would have seriously yielded more value than anything in it since i'm kind of poor at the moment.
(last night)
i misplaced my cash back from trader joe's and when i went to my car this morning i found it on the driver seat. yay, nobody broke in to my car for the $10. how great is that?!
(at the moment)
i have a small tv covered with hot wheels stickers. don't ask! hope my windows don't get broken for this especially since it's not mine!
what a great neighborhood! what more could a girl ask for?
ralph makes me laugh simply because he says things like:
"yeah, matt* should get a job at fry's because they hire the less fortunate. he'd probably have a good chance at getting hired"
wtf?! for some reason that was the funniest and most random thing i've ever heard in my life. what made it even better was how he said he read an article where the founder stated that. ralph thought it was mean of me to laugh but i think it was meaner and funnier for him to say such a thing. oh guys, you gotta love 'em!
*name changed to protect unnamed person
yes, that's showerheads, plural, as in two. ralph installed two showerheads in our shower that come out of one spout. he was trying to create the ultimate shower experience and although it looks very space age and hi-tich, i'm afraid it fell a little short of our expectations. no that i really have a high shower standard, i mean, seriously...i was showering in between his working, and it didn't have a head or anything- it was just water coming out of the wall. ironically, i think i like that simple set-up best of all (just a whole with lots of water coming out) but that would probably ruin the pipes or something terrible after a fair amount of time.
so, ralph is going back to the drawing board since i almost drowned taking a shower. this head is like 3 feet above my head so i really have to stand in the right spot if i want the shampoo to rinse out- meanwhile- the baby head is shooting up my nose. what an experience. good thing i really love water and am accustomed to water spraying up my nose thanks to allergy sprays.
unfortunately i don't know the name of the shower head he bought but it's the kind that is big, round, and pretends to be rain. honestly, i hate the feeling of rain on my skin unless it is pouring. those little drizzles are a waste of time and makeup so hopefully our shower head will be pouring and blasting soon. maybe we should just attach a firman's hose or something? i'm quite the savvy plumber, huh?!
the name jessica now makes me cringe thanks to the character on laguna beach named just that. i really dislike that girl and i'm glad to have read that she's all alone in laguna beach now!
and jason, ugh. don't get me started. can i punch him in the face, please?! kristin, ugh!
ok, why do i watch this show just to hate on it?!
i don't like being on hold as i would guess most people don't.
i'm currently on hold for:
notary test results
refinacing news (as if this is a test)
and
my probationary review at work.
i am kind of an impatient person so i can't wait to get news on all fronts! that will really make my day!
the best thing to do when i feel like this is to drive as fast as possible to fantasis for a lychee milk tea with lots of pears and no sugar.
p.s. i'm actually sore from karate. guess it's like tae-bo, huh? oh btw, i met billy blanks in san francisco and was in an audience of his motivational presentation and he is so not motivational outside of his videos.
if you look at ralph it's easy to see that he's cute. but what makes him extra cute is that he has made setting up the perfect shower mission impossible! after buying nearly 5 different shower heads, he finally found one to his liking. now he's not messing around...we have 2 shower heads (one is for rain-like shower and the other is small and tough for a massage-like shower) from one spout and you can turn them on or off or have both. pretty cool, huh?! each time he's changed the shower heads he showered to put them to the test so i now think he's the cleanest person i know!
i think his many attempts to get it just right, long hours spent at home depot, target, and lowe's shopping for just the right thing make him even cuter!
now, i can't wait to test our final set-up! i'm living in water wonderland!
note to self: next time you make a pot of pinto beans, add beano or soak them over night so self and dinner guests don't need immodium, pepto, and tums for dessert!
so my mom decided to surpise me with the gift of self defense! what does this mean?! as a yesterday, i have one-on-one karate classes every sunday. it was really cool and i can't believe i worked up a sweat. i think i'm going to be sore tomorrow and possible hoarse from yelling hi-ya!
the best part is that i broke a block of wood! i'm so not kidding right now. it was the best feeling in the world! not the acutal breaking of the wood, but the accomplishment of being able to do that on my first day was quite exhilirating. now i want to break wood all the time. i was so proud of myself that i plan on taking it in to work to proudly diplay on my desk. i'm sure nobody will know why i have pieces on pine on my desk but i do, and that's all that matters!
i love karate and can't wait until my next lesson!
we love tlaquepaque so much that we're heading there for the second night in a row for dinner. i love mexican food!
today i woke up at 6 am for notary class. this was a difficult task considering i went to sleep 4 hours prior to the alarm ringing for half an hour. let me give you a piece of advice...if you ever get the wise idea to take a notary class, get fingerprinted, and take the exam all in one day, be certain that you have a minimum of 12 hours of sleep the night before 'cause 4 hours just didn't cut it. already the course material is like ny-quil so really anything you can do to stay awake would be excellent!
the class was super boring to say the least. and i have to say that they really should've got a jazzier person to teach the class. now i'm not saying they have to do jazz hands while they teach the class or anything that bizarre but why would you get marty monotone to teach this already dry as ash material?! and why can't the instructors dress in like bright pink and neon yellow? i know that sound totally hideous but it would've helped! and the students? yikes. it was a day in the twilight zone to say the least.
i was lucky to make acquaintance with the woman (who looked like she was from this decade unlike the rest of the class) next to me so we swore that we'd wake each other up in case we fell asleep, which we both did about 4 times.
i was fingerprinted prior to the class which was cool! things are so modern now that they don't mess around with ink anymore. they use a scanner and it picks up your prints in no time flat! the woman in charge of the prints said i had great prints (that compliment truly made my year). weird, huh?! apparently, they're extra deep so they leave a very extreme mark. basically, she said i'd be stupid to commit any crimes because they would find me very easily! damn, there goes my paln to rob a bank and steal a car! she really killed my dreams of being a bonnie and clyde pair with ralph. sadly, i must burst his bubble!
the highlight of the day was the exam. exams are not usually the best part of a day but afterall, it was my main purpose of taking the course. the exam was 30 questions long and you have to get 21 right. needless to say, i'll be really t.o.'d if i don't pass because that's 70% which is like getting a c and i've always thought of myself as better than a c student. i get my scores in 7-10 business days so i'll let you know as soon as i find out. if i pass, i need to take an oath and blah blah blah, get commissioned, etc. and then i need to set-up a company license so i can start doing this fun stuff on the side.
i can't wait to live life in the notary lane!
ralph and i went on a date tonight for mexican food and a movie. this sounds like most of our dates, huh?! we're usually not this predictible but we've both been so exhausted that not much more than eating and staring at a screen for 2 hours really appeals to us.
anyways, we ate at a restaurant new to me called tlaqupaque (i think that's the proper spelling?) #2 (on delmas and willow). if you live in the san jose area and haven't eaten here, you must drop everything and head over there now! don't wait until 9 o'clock because they close early. it was seriously some of the best mexican food i've ever had and that's saying a lot coming from me because it takes a lot to impress me in the realm of mexican food. and best of all, it was cheap!
after dining we saw jarhead. we bumped into anthony and christine in the theatre so that was awesome since we had considered inviting them but we never called since christine and 10 o'clock shows usually don't mix. anyways, jarhead pretty much sucked (which i had not expected). it was 2 hours but about 1 hour and 30 minutes too long. it didn't help that i kept waiting on the edge of my seat for some excitement but it never happened. i'm glad i sacrificed my sleep the evening before a full-day notary class to see this awful movie. perhaps you'll like it better than me.
rachael ray is coming to town on dec. 2 and i can't wait to see her! this is like the adult version of santa claus coming to town. must calculate a way to get time out from work to have a book signed (note to self: buy book by ray that has a couple of edible dishes) and meet rachael ray! i'm such a 30 minute meals groupie! what is even funnier is that i totally get disgusted by almost all the meals she makes on the show. i think what gets me hooked is the fact that she really gets it all squeezed into 30 minutes! her not so great food, just goes to show you that personality can make or brak you!
i'm such a dork sometimes.
i just learned that the sara lee slogan is "nobody doesn't like sara lee." how stupid is that?! i had always thought that it was "nobody does it like sara lee," which is a far superior slogan in my opinion.
then, i was listening to the santana song "ain't got nobody" (i think that's what it's called) in my car on the way home, and i realized that for all these years i had been singing "ain't got no money." what a dork. no wonder the lyrics never seemed to mesh right.
oh, the world always has some many new things to offer the slightly deaf.
maya angelou knew why the caged bird sang and i'm beginning to learn why adults always seem to be within reach of a bottle of tums...and why my mom so often went to sleep without washing her face or brushing her teeth- even though we were scolded if we did not. the reason is time--and lack thereof. eating on the run, celebrating on the run, everything is on the run.
last night marked the 6th consecutive night of not washing my face (which used to be a mortal sin since my skin has issues without adding to the fire) or brushing my teeth before passing out on the bed fully clothed. ug, i so hate falling asleep wearing a bra, and then waking up at 3 am to slip it off through my shirt because its digging into my skin!
i looked especially great this morning when i woke up at 8:30 am (this is the time i'm supposed to be pulling on to the freeway) with full "american tourist" makeup on. i dressed as an american tourist to last night's halloween party and ralph was james dean. we didn't quite have enough time to put together the construction get-up so these were our easily executable (is this a word?) plan bs. i dressed obnoxious, wore obnoxious makeup, did the ol' camera around the neck, carry a map, and wear tennis shoes trick and it had me wishing i had dressed as a tourist during the work day so i could sit at my desk in shorts.
anyways, halloween was fun and i vow to begin working on 2006's best costume of the year starting tomorrow.
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