bumblepug

yard sale...

currently out on the lawn selling my junk!

warning

if you eat pizza everyday for lunch, expect to gain five punds in a week!  that's what the applewood lunch special should be labeled with!  i weighed myself yesterday and i blamed "bloating" on the newfound tightness of my jeans.  curse that pizza.  and i actually thought it was "good" since i wasn't hungry for the rest of the afternoon.  who was i fooling?  just me!  ugh.  i really need to hit the trails on sunday and the rest of the week.

to top it off, i need to buy a new work wardrobe and i don't want to buy the next size up.  i refuse to!  what to do?!

happy trails!

under the weather

i feel like crap today.  i woke up with my ears and throat burning like a five alarm fire!!!  i'm glad ralph filled me up with airborne, cold medicine, tissue, and water before he left to work.  i slept in a bit extra and feel better but not 100%.  i so better not be sick for my bday, tomorrow.  the plan (so far) is to go to the beach/boardwalk to celebrate and we're going to eat dinner on the beach.  cold, please pass, come bug me on another day!

on the bright side, ralph sent me some awesome tulips and my dad and aunt sent me some bday gifts!  this week feels like christmas and i'm loving it.

mullet-madness

what about my hair screams to hairstylists who cut my hair for the first time, "make me into a mullet?!"  well, that's what happened and i will be wearing my hair- the 5 long strands that still exist (in the back)- in a pony until the front part grows longer.  i should've known the cut was headed for trouble when i saw the razor.  razor cuts may be nice on people with stick straight, silky hair but on hair that is coarse, dry, and wavy...the razor cut is a nightmare full of frizz!  i hate my new cut and the highlights are the only saving grace of my hair- unfortunately, most of them were cut out!!!

my hair is scary!  and you know it's really gross when your hair's shadow is scary- which mine is!

pass the pony holder, please!  on second thought, pass the hat!

my head hurts

...and so does my neck.  i slept on a pillow that was constructed for a giant so now i have to turn my entire body if i want to look in a different direction.  i feel like dr. evil.  i probably should've stayed home because i'm ultra sleepy and i wanted to lay on my bed in the ac-cooled room for the entire day!  is it bad to drive to work and then call in sick from the parking lot.  oh well, i made it so i may as well stay!

on the bright side i lost a pound in my first week of weight watchers- which is utterly stunning considering it's cravings week and i have been going over my point alotment.  wow, imagine the success if i can stick with the plan a little better?!  and it's really a fair plan, i just need to stop the high point items that are filler.

last night i had dinner with my family and saw my cousin jeremy for 2 seconds since he and his girlfriend were unable to join us for dinner.  they were crazy and nice- they drove from southern ca to say hi and see us and then they drove back the same day so they could go to the price is right this morning.  i hope they woke up for the show!

i also watched napolean dynamite for the 15 millionth time- does it ever stop being fuuny?!  i bought million dollar baby at target yesterday for $16.99.  i also spent way too much money while in target to just grab the dvd during my lunch break.  that's the killer about target, you get in and it takes over--all the fun stuff, not to mention, the awesome deals on toilet paper!  while browsing i picked up some new polish colors and i decided to try dove deodorant (unscented, i hate smelly deodorants!).  i'll let you know if my armpits go to underarms in a week- as their commercial states.

after seeing roo's highlights last night i've decided against having them done this week.  i'll stick with a cut and in the meantime, i'll look for an expert who can do dark to light foolproof-ly (i know this is not a word but it works here!).  must call to cancel appointment!

tomorrow is ralph's bday and he still hasn't told me what he wants!  ;) ;)  the plan is to go to dinner and then i have a few tricks up my sleeve for saturday.  i love tricks!  now we just need treats and it'll be just like halloween but in jul so it will be perfect for him since hallowen is one of his favorites!

condos

i love being approved for a $$phat$$ home loan and then the sales office drops off the face of the planet!  hmm...car or condo!?!  i'm not sure how much longer neo (my geo) is going to make it but a condo sure would be nice.  wtf- where are the sales office people?  maybe they just took a really long lunch break and forgot to come back!  e.t., phone home!  i'm really starting to get t.o.'d.  and why is it so damn expensive here?! 

ugh!  :O

p.s. it's almost my birthday- 18 more days!

when ralph is gone

when ralph is out of town i do things like watch napolean dynamite ten times in a row, and play the notebook at insane volumes so i can hear it from the living room into the bathroom while bathing.  you know, things that would really annoy another person.

where am i going with this...

i have tons of lines stuck in my head from napolean dynamite (big surprise, huh?)but my favorite is "do chickens have large talons?"  this may have something to do with the spelling bee clip that anthony and christine showed me which i'll post soon enough so you can join my laughter!  my other favorite line is his response to how his day went..."it was the worst day of my life, what do you think?!"

as for me, today has been the most boring day of my life thus far.  i'm beginning to think i will die of boredom if a bug doesn't bite my ass or something eventful like.

my boredom is compounded by the fact that i want to vomit because i have such a throbbing headache, and to make things better i just drank a glass of milk- yuk!  hmm...what a great day. 

also i think one of my neighbor's was murdered at 2 am and they woke me up!  i was so p.o.'d that i didn't even think to call the cops.  i better be a good citizen next time instead of eating a bowl of flax seed cereal and dozing off to three's company.  who knew such great tv was on at that time?! 

i hate personality tests!

it's official---i hate personality tests.  now i know hate is a strong word to use but i truly hate personality tests.  do i need to repeat myself?!

i had to take the myers-briggs and the kolbe test:

myers-briggs says: extrovert, intuitive, thinking, judge (whatever that means!)

kolbe says: i'm a quick starter with great follow-thru

wonderluc: who knows?  but i had to take this too!

ug, who cares?!  in the end can we really define a person by their answers to some stupid tests that will have variable results depnding on the day and the testing enironment!

anyways, my point here is that if an employer asks me to take one of these tests...it's likely i won't get it because i just have too much personality- at least this is my theory!

if another company wants to personality test me, i'm running the other way!

crashed cars and cold eggs

my commute to work is my least favorite part of my day- on all days.  it was especially not fun today because nearly every car had serious body damage and many of them were bad drivers- big surprise here!  when you start seeing a lot of cars that are side swiped and dented like that, it makes me think that they are going to randonly crash into me.  it's like they are magnetized to other cars and must hit.  oh well, made it safe this time.

when i got to work my scrambled eggs were cold.  there was no way i was going to try eating them while i was driving considering the cars around me (i had to be on my best defense).  i have to say, there's nothing worse than 3 cold egg whites with 1.5 yolks.  no flavor whatsoever.

sweet emotion

emotions suck, plain and simple.  they make and destroy my world all at once.

i've been bummed about gram's news but also very optimistic, which is it?  i want it all, as usual!  i'm optimistic that surgery and medical advances are on her side.  she's a strong person so as long as she hangs in there, it'll all just be a matter of time becfore she 100% again.

in the meantime, i'm getting increasingly paranoid about the recent track record of cancer around me, and thinking could be next (i tend to be a paranoid person so this is no surprise)...

so

in the meantime...

i'm drinking my pom juice (which i wish somebody had warned me about the energy it can induce- coffee hardly comparea)

eating blueberries

stressing less

wearing 3 layers of sunscreen

trying to exercise more by buying a soccer and basketball

listening to my recent soundtrack: hate it or love it by g-unit, selah by lauren hill, why can't i by liz phair, passing me by by pharcyde, when you say nothing at all by ronan keating, with you by jessica simpson, part time lover by stevie wonder, human nature by michael jackson, and float on by modest mouse.  enjoy.

and getting my face sandblasted (which turned out really nice and didn't hurt as much as i expected!)

if only all of this could make me a health guarantee!

am i going crazy?

the answer is probably "yes" most of the time but today it's truly not me, it's typepad!  i've received several emails wishing dog a happy birthday so one of a few things is going on here...1.) people think dog's name is lindsay (which it's not; lindsay is my former co-worker and friend), 2.) typepad has already posted the entry i did on dog's bday even though it's not suppose to post unil 4/18/05 because i marked it as a "future" post, or, 3.) i wrote soemthing about it being her bday but i didn't notice that i made it seem like it was yesterday or today when really it is a few weeks away (4/18).  what's going on here?  if you know, please let me know how you saw a post or material relating to dog's bday.

i feel like crap today and i wish i would've stayed in bed.  this is a so-so week that i'm sure only an easter basket full of candy and gossip mags can solve!  my hormones are out of control and i want sweets despite my "sweet strike."  i'm so cranky today that my bones hurt and my head aches.  now i know what crabs feel like!  also, my jeans shrunk or i ganined weight!  probably a dash of both!

on top of the unsolved mystery listed above (dog's bday thing), there is the issue of my state taxes being rejected!!!!  why?  my taxes are the simplest ever- i have an income and some student loans and that's it!  nothing fancy.  nothing that warrants my taxes being rejected!  i think the governator has something to do with this.  to top it off, the reject code is 679 (a discrepency with my agi from last year on line 0020 which i interpret as line 20 since nothing is numbered 0020) and line 20 has nothing to do with agi.  no wonder i've never done my taxes myself.  i'd rather pay somebody to deal with such annoyances.  then it's their problem, not mine.  then it's their ass rotting in jail for tax evasion, not mine!  ok, i'm overdramaticizing this a bit.  it'll all be solved tonight once i re-file using a 1040ez (is this for state or federal?) and kick the 540 c1 to the curb.  why were federal taxes much easier?  i've already received my $ from them.  more on this later but watch out for esmarttax.com because they're not there to help after they give you error code 679!

i'm sure my day would be better if i would've just located the astronaut ice cream at fry's last night, and had i not bought a "new" scrathed up version of bridget jones: the edge of reason.  now, i have to go back to fry's, even if the scratched version works because i want the new thing to look new!!!  i hate fry's (sorry ralph; sorry irene)!  they can't even keep their astronaut ice cream stocked!!!  the cashier helping me last night insisted that i buy the astro ice cream and he told me it's somewhere in aisle 5, 6, or 7.  that didn't really help but neither did the woman who worked there who was standing in aisle 5.  some people just have no clue what astro ice cream is and when you try explaining it to them, it requires that they have knowledge of the english language or that i have knowledge of their language.  simply put, her english was poor so she had no clue what i was talking about and she suggested i check the freezer at the front of the store.  ok, at least the ice cream part made it through.  so, no astro ice cream.  the cashier was as let down as me because he was having me find the astro ice cream not only for me, but also for his lunch break- i'm fairly certain of this since he was so set on me leaving with the astro ice cream.  anyways...thank goodness for fried bananas and homemade coconut ice cream at thai delight.  yeah, like this is really what i need after a dinner at outback steakhouse!  we saw amanda at the thai place which is no surprise because we all love the thai place! 

ralph just im'd me about his new phone.  i'm sure you'll hear all about it from me or him soon enough.

need some ZZzzs!

my night was terrible!  i woke up at 3 am with a splitting migraine, which i attribute to stressful thoughts about my boss calling me.  jeez, why am i so worked up about this?!  so, i took an imitrex, and boy was that the wrong thing to do?!  usually, imitrex works well for me (i've really only taken it 3 times before so i'm not an expert) but not last night.  i think the sedating effects of the imitrex inadvertently caused some major anxiety problems.  i called the doctor at 3 am to confirm that i wasn't losing my mind, and it was confirmed...if you are already anxious, imitrex will increase that feeling.  good to know.  i think i'll pass on the imitrex for future use, it bothers me that prescriptions can take such a toll.  must get good night sleep tonight because i currently feel like i was run over by a semi.  need ZZzzs...

blah, blah, blah

(2.22) tuesday....home sick (not feeling well, stayed home to rest my bones)

boss called- she didn't realize i was out all day.  thanks to msn (!!!) my email stating my absence was never delivered.  it's nice to know that people can go a until 5 pm without never knowing i wasn't there.  hmm...makes ya think.

(2.23) wednesday...home sick (feel like crud, no, crud times ten!)

feel gross.  ears on fire as is throat.  mom gave me some weird tasting holistic throat coating tea.  i squeezed the teab bag and it was slimey, yuck!  nothing like a little licorice root to coat the throat.

(2.24) thursday...home sick (on the road to healthy, again)

boss called, again (!!!), to see how i'm doing (meaning, to confirm whether my cold is worhty of 3 days out of the office or whether i "just hangin' out!") and to ask if it's okay to increase my workload.  how perfectly inappropriate!  why?  why did you have to do that while i was out?  out sick?  no surprise, this woman has no people skills to think of (like most people in hr, sorry hr folks but you need some brain tweaking and some socialization courses) and probably didn't even consider her major faux pas (sp?).  yes, i can always take on more work.  i love doing the work of 3 people for half a person's wage.  please, pour more on me, really! 

she's such an asshole.

ennui

i think the french have a word that best describes my recent mood, ennui.  everything sounds better in french because here, that might be traslated as plain old bored.  in french class i used this word when asked how i was doing, though i don't think this was the correct answer from a grammar stand point.  i usd it then to give a quick answer and because i liked saying the word.

now, it's a word that describes the mood i've been stuck in for the past few weeks, as does the twilight zone.  i'm not sure where this is coming from but i just feel really bored with life.  maybe it's the weather?  maybe it's because i'm used to moving every year and i've been in my current place for almost 2 years (which is a record after living at home).  maybe i should do something drastic like quit my overly-stable (and very boring) job for something more exciting.  maybe i should move to the city?  or a combo of elements, maybe i should quit my job and move to the city to go to culinary school.  i've always wanted to do this but i've remained in the area to be close to dog's support system!  yes, she has a support system...her sitter, her dog friends, and most importantly, her boyfriend!

i'm sure this'll work it's way out over time, i just need to find a little (well, a lot wouldn't hurt) more oomph.

the return of winter

over the weekend i took advantage of the nice weather.  and it's a good thing because winter is back with the rain.  on saturday ralph and i went cycling along the coast.  we probably did 6 miles but it felt like a lot more to me since i'm totally out of shape right now.  when the weather gets nice again, and once i find my helmet, i hope to go cycling more.  we saw the wedding date that evening and it was one of the worst movies i've ever seen!  oh well, at least we saw 3/4s of hide and seek (which also sucked) and the wedding date for the price of one (this is a long story that doesn't need re-telling).

yesterday was superbowl and it was nice to see everybody at omar's get together.  i'm glad there was lots of food and magazines since i still don't understand football.  sometime in this life, i'll make an effort to learn.  maybe if i watch it more i'll enjoy it more.  that's how i came to like baseball.

last night i had the worst sleep ever!  i think i heard cops pulling somebody over outside the escort's house and then a while later i heard a woman's scream coming from that house.  so creepy!

busy blogger

i haven't been able to post in a few days because life has been too fast.  studying for the lsat is making me crazy, mainly because the more "prep" classes i endure, the worse my score gets.  last night i took a stand by skipping class, which was a workshop and i spent that time studying on my own.  it was a last minute decision and i'm glad i did it because i made it through some of the "big book of arguments."  the class often confuses me more than the test itself and i think i'm doing worse because i'm trying to take the test their way.  i just talked to a classmate and she said that everybody has gone down and it was a major discussion last night.  can i get a refund?  please!

it was nice to have monday off this week.  it's amazing what a difference one day can make.  i saw million dollar baby (a+) and in good company (b-).  mdb was amazing (and i don't even like boxing!); it deserves all the great recognition that it is receiving!  ralph and i had massages and i wish we could've gotten our money back!  his masseuse had a gas problem and mine was plain weird.  at least i left feeling like i needed a nap which is always a good sign of relaxation (at least for me).  then i had my haircut yesterday.  i don't like it because she put too many different layers around my face.  i feel like a doll that would dance to a sesame street song- if you watched sesame street about 18 years ago, you know what i'm talking about.

i haven't been able to take dog anywhere fun lately.  too many things for me means too few for her.  we'll recover after feb. 12th (the test date).  i guess it doesn't help that the weather has been miserably wet which she refuses to walk in, anyways.

i bought a lotto ticket for tonight and i can feel that i'm not a lott winner this time.  i know i should be optimistic to increase my chance but i really don't think my thoughts control those randomly drawn balls!

i'm famished and in a bad mood.  a co-worker has totally been annoying me and i didn't have enought to eat for lunch- leftover halibut with week old brown rice hardly qualifies as a satisfying lunch.  my oven/stove better be working tonight!  they should give me a per diem for the food i've been having to buy since i can't use the broken oven! 

almost time for more studying.  better go find some food or drink to wake up...

i wish the bachelorette was on tonight.  i'd hate to have to date 20 some odd guys at a time to try to find a husband in less than a few months!  what a major stress!  my life seems real easy after watching that show...

stiff sorts and arguments

my neck is stiff and my back/kidney area feels achy.  how many pillows have i been using?!  i need a massage asap and i'm certain i'll not want to go to my lsat arguments #2 class tonight but i must!  i think there's enough arguing in my personal life for me not to need a class on it.  hmm...maybe it will add to personal argument victories.  i'm kidding...

i just received an email titled "gentle reminder."  what is gentle about it?  why can't it just be a reminder?  that doesn't offend me.  ther are some things i'll never understand.  i wonder if one has been sent titled "forceful reminder."  maybe i'll try that soon to check out the response.

i learned that chris will be playing at a tsunami benefit concert this weekend.  it's in salinas which is a bit of a drive but i mapquested it and it looks like i can do it in less than 1.5 hours- less time than i was anticipating.  what a fun way to spend your bday (it's his bday on sat.)- helping others!  i can't wait to check it out.  more details soon!

the pulmonology dept hates me

after my physical my doctor requested that i take a lung capacity test at the pulmonology department at a different clinic.  i called the other department to confirm receipt of the fax on their end and i had to explain this 7 times to 2 different people (one receptionist and one nurse).  how confusing can that be?!  i lost my patience after they messed up my doctor's name 3 times after i had told it to them twice, and after they asked me what kind of test and i told them "lung capacity" 4 times!  i could understand if there was a language barrier but this was plain old stupidity!  i finally told the woman that she would probably know better than me since she works there and that i'm wasn't sure what was so difficult about understanding what i wanted.  she said she'd call me back but i'm sure that's a long shot after my rude comments to her.  even if i took my lung tests there, i'm sure they'd fudge my numbers or something.  heck, at this point, i'd be happy if they knew how to operate the equipment since it's so difficult for them to understand the simplest request!  wish me luck on my second call...

spring in winter

i went shopping over the weekend and i don't get how it just turned winter yet stores are already doing spring previews and clearancing winter clothes (well, i won't complain about this part)!  hello, winter just started last week!  i don't think anybody is thinking about wearing spring clothes quite yet considering the current bone-chilling temps!  i guess the fight for a buck occurs with seasonal clothing, just like it does with holiday items- like how chrismas stuff is put out the day after halloween, ugh!  calm down already!

ralph by any other name

yesterday i came home to find a christmas card hanging on my front door.  i opened the very cute and crafty card to read, "dear xxxxx, dog, and arthur,"  at that point i could't stop laughing because ther person who gave me the card thinks ralph's name is arthur!!!  it reminded me that a co-worker at my christmas party thought ralph's name was raul (sp?), and people consistently call him frank, too!  wake up people?!  i know very few people are named ralph nowadays but it's not like you've never heard the name before!  last night as i laughed for 20 minutes over the christmas card/arthur.  i told ralph about my co-worker at the party who called him raul, he asked "did you correct her?"  i said "no."  i just didn't feel it was that important because what are the odds of her seeing him again and besides, since we're in the same work team, i'll be extra careful to mention ralph's name a lot around her as the roundabout way of correcting her.

people always call me sophia, sandra, or sarah.  sophia is close but it doesn't win the prize!  i don't even look like a sophia, sandra, or sarah (especially not this one!)!  i'm now very certain to pay attention to peoples' names when i am introduced because there is nothing more annoying to me than getting a name totally wrong- mainly because it is embarrassing to correct.  ahh...

i'm breathing better today after yesterday's physical.  turns out my allergies have become so bad that i have developed asthma.  i would've never guessed but it shouldn't be such a shocker to me since i've been breathing liek darth vader for the last month.  i'm sure there's a scientific explanation but that's the best i can do.  i was given advair which is pretty cool- it makes me feel like i'm playing a harmonica that shoots medicated powder into my throat and lungs!  the doctor's instructions for advair went like this, "inhale and hold, hold, hold and exhale."  i thought that was funny!  anyways, i'm glad to be using a product that uses a pug in their commercials and other advertisements.  i suppose they use a pug for this asthma medicine since pugs have poor breathing.  who knows?!

after my appointment, i met lindsay and amanda for dinner/gift exchange at consuelo.  i'm addicted to their pozole, sopes, and mojitos.  it's so good!  also add starbucks' non-fat steamed milk with extra foam and dashes of cinnamon and chocolate powder to my list of current addictions.  i suppose this is a good addiction, full of calcium!  back to my point- dinner was excellent and i received really cool gifts!  amanda gave me a bright pink coach wallet (i recived this last week but couldn't mention it since lindsay was getting the same thing later than me) and lindsay gave me a tastefully huge pink and yellow rhinestone flower ring.  they know me so well!  lindsay didn't choose the earrings i thought she would so i'm glad i brought plan b with me for her to choose. 

tonight ralph and i are eating dinner at soleil (for free- thanks sheraton!) and exchanging gifts early!  i'm so excited because i can't wait to see his reaction to the gifts i've chosen.  i wish i could be a personal shopper so i could always shop and make people happy! 

to do before 6:15 pm:

marshall's and/or target (buy 2 more cat/dog toys)

bb/b

walk dog, call mom to remind her about dog sitting

wrap final gifts

snatch ralph's stocking

fill with stocking stuffers

clean (since i never did last night)

shower

find something nice yet comfortable to wear to dinner

breathe (now that you can do so quietly)

pinkerton the pinky

my pinky is slowly healing and i just spent $6 on 5 band-aids that promise waterproofness and faster healing!  i hope this the claim is true. i also bought long plastic gloves so i can do the dishes without my wound re-opening every time i want to wash a dish.  besides, that's really disgusting for me and my guests to eat off of dishes that were washed by hands with an open wound.  the gloves are vanilla scented.  i wish they had the regular type but my options were: plain old thin latex, vanilla scented heavy duty long, or aloe-coated interior heavy duty.  they're all unappealing to me but the vanilla was the least weird.  i put my dishes away and they smelled like vanilla, yuck!  they should've at least had a citrus scented option.  if you should think of more bizarre glove ideas, send them to brawny- because really, they don't have enough already!

pine-scented ice pop

my place smells like a forest and feels like i'm living in one, too.  the cold is unbearable because my pilot light keeps going out.  this is annoying and dog and i have turned into ice pops!

tonight i plan on decorating my tree, paying rent, and submitting an "urgent maintenance" request for my heater!

on the bright side, ralph is back! :) :)

when one door closes another opens

sean paul's (my beta) aquariaum is full of fungus and so is he.  :(  his palace is currently being de-funged and he's temporarily living in a punch bowl with a makeshift oxygen feed.  anthony helped save his life by setting up his new arrangments and finding out which medicines to get.  last night i spent $30 on medicine for him and he was only $3, go fish!  i thought he was dead last night when i came home from dinner.  i'm glad i phoned ant to confirm or else he'd be alive in the sewer system today.  send sp your good thoughts!

i'm not a huge fan of tv but tonight is my tv night- scrubs and law & order: svu.  i guess they balance one another so i can go to bed clear-headed.

my stomach still hurts and i think i just had a mini-stroke.  is that possible?  better yet, is that possible at my age?

posadas are coming up soon, which i look forward to every holiday season.  i'll post more info about this event as we get closer.

vanilla, the title is for you.  things will be fine and we're here for you if need or want anything.  a bowl of vanilla ice cream always hits the spot in times like these.  see you tomorrow.

sick in bed

i think i have a case of the flu.  that's what i deserve for getting allergy shots when i knew my immune system was low.

frustration breeds motivation

i'm frustrated today.  my arms are heavy and feel bruised and my throat felt spike-lined this morning because i'm coming down with some sort of cold.  that's what i get for holding complete strangers' hands at church during the pre-flu season.  i went to church yesterday which was very pleasant.  i enjoy sermons when the priest is eloquent because they often make me think about things i normally would not consider on my own.  he mentioned he had been sick with heart disease and in that process he had become angry and closed off to certain pieces of himself that once existed.  he asked eash person to consider "what pieces of you have died?"  that's a good question.  mabe their death is for the better or maybe their revival would bring something better?!  who knows.

andrea and i were just emailing about our arguments this weekend and i feel upset again when i consdier some of the statements said in the heat of the moment.  the main thing that upsets me is how some people think things don't count until you're married.  it's so messed up to me because i'm opposed to that type of contingent-based thinking.  makes me not want to marry that type of person, let alone be with that type of person, if i'm going to be left in the cold simply because we're "not married."  i'm on a tangent right now (perhaps the recollection of being called passive agressive, jealous, arrogant, and typical leo- stubborn and selfish, leads me to this) and i'll find solace in the fact that answers will come to me, that will inevitably lead me to the right decisions.  for now, the previously stated helps me drift into my imaginary world of boyfriend fuzzies where my world is perfect and my boyfriend makes me his priority despite the fact that we're  "not married."  oh well, note to self for now, among other things that top the list.  and no, i'm not pmsing.

ralph is back from boston.  he brought back tasty chocolate mix from l.a. burdick, that world series t i'd been wanting, and some yummy chocolate raspberry truffle bars.  dog is happy.  so am i.

i didn't get the "mh thing" which didn't surprise me.  i found out friday afternoon.  if it was the dirtrict office's decision i'd be there in 2 weeks but it is up to d.c. which i totally bombed out on.  the d.o. was super nice and referred me to an assemblymember who needs someone and i'm the only one she's referring.  that made me feel better but i'm not interested.  not getting the mh and the whole process makes me realize that i have been incredible unmotivated lately and it's time to push my self towards my goals.  i want to be passionate about my work, and i would've been for the mh thing which makes me realize i need a career change.  i've decided i'm going to apply to law school for fall 2006.  not just here but all over, and i'm hoping it takes me to a new and exciting city.  i submitted my lsat tpr forms today and i'll be taking the 2/05 test.  this is one of my least favorite tests in all the world.  i'm a terrible standardized test taker and i'd prefer to write a novel on some randomly assigned topic because at least that would allow me to support my answer.  i'm not sure if this is the right thing to do but i figure it's better to take action than to stay stagnant.  i'm happy to say that christine will be joining me in the law school saga which i accurately predicted last night before she called me.  we can be study buddies for the test and maybe we'll end up at the same school.

dog's trip to the vet on saturday was free.  her "glands" were empty and the good thing about this is that she may have begun to excrete them herself like most dogs already do.  while we were there, it concerned me that the techs were feeding the dogs in the office grapes.  hello, was i the only one who read the aspca alert on grapes being toxic to dogs?  i think it is time to search for a new vet because i don't want dog to be fed grapes when i look the other way.  i think i'll email them that article while i'm at it.

the current temp in my area feels like 5 degrees.  i'm wearing a ski parka and i'm beginning to think i could use some gloves and down pants.

recent dreams:

i owned my dream house

i called marianne and things are going great

i called dad and he needed help

and i woke up to "needing" to call connie- maybe something is going on here aside from graduation?

summary of dreams: i need to put more effort into staying in contact with people so it doesn't get to the point where my "must do" list fills my dreams and i imagine conversations between me and others to fill what has not been said.

i haven't had a "wrong side of the bed day" in a while so i hope this satisfies your sour tooth.

feeling unispired

i'm glad for days like yesterday that balance out days like today. i'm tired and my eyes feel soupy. i'm supposed to get allergy shots today but i'll wait until tomorrow because i have a meeting that begins before my shots could end.

i saw an ad for a cd that plays not only music, but smeels as well, called scentories. i thought i was in the twilight zone when i saw the commercial on tv because i felt like i was being brainwashed. does anybody else find it odd that smells can be played? i tested the gadget (created the fabreze, the scent mogul) at fry's and i definitely would not buy it because the smells are rather artificial smelling and if i want smells coupled with another experience, i'd either ride the ca ride (smells and images) at disney's ca adventures or i'll open my refridgerator (which is enough of a scent to last a year). not to mention, you can't just buy the scented cd, you need the entire scent player (similar to cd player) so it can blow scented breeze (which doesn't blow enough air out anyways) into the air. my left thumb and right thumb head towards the floor for 2 thumbs down.

highly unorganized

i'm feeling highly unorganized at the moment but peaking this feeling was losing an earring (in addition to being without a debit card for the last 3 weeks!)...i thought it was a smart idea to bundle some really nice earrings in a napkin (so they wouldn't get scratched) and then toss the bundle in my glove compartment. as i waited at a stop light, i reached for the napkin with the earrings but only found one. i freaked out because they were really nice and i feel like everything i'm looking for is always lost or misplaced. is there a big hole that swallows my belongings? on top of being late, i was frustrated with the fact at how discombobulated things have been lately. i speculate things are going this way because i'm messy and haven't made an honest effort to file, do my laundry, or get organized at home in a long while.

i think it all started with a bad night's sleep. i fell asleep on ralph's couch at 10:30 pm and didn't walk to the bed until 2:30 am. once i was in bed i was consistently waking up every 2 hours as though i was going to be late for something important. what kept me up was the fact that my limbs felt (particularly my fingers) like they were polish sausages and my head felt like it was full of food. in reality, i was feeling gross because i was totally dehydrated (due to the fact that i had cheese puffs, walnuts, and a mini york peppermint patty before bedtime, yes, i pms-ing) and my head was totally congested because i fell asleep without taking my allergy medicine the day of allergy shots. at 4:36 am, i woke up because i couldn't stand the thirst or the snot clogging my brain anymore. i looked at dog and ralph as the rain was pounding outside, wondering...how can they sleep so peacefully? how come he didn't anticipate my thirst and snot with a glass of water and a box of tissue? i was just bitter because they were asleep and i was searching for water and kleenex in the dark. for some reason i have really good night vision in the pitch black but not when i'm driving in the dark with headlights on, go figure. after drinking some water and stuffing a wad of tissue under the pillow i fell asleep until i needed to pee at 6 am. then back to sleep...zzzz...next thing i know it's 8:06 am and i'm suppose to have dog walked, be dressed, and have gassed (sp?) up the car by 8:30 am? yeah, right.

at least i did 3 miles yesterday. that was the good part and the fact that ralph made dinner. the 3 miles took longer than expected because i had terrible pain in my shins and achilles. i suspect this happened because i normally warm-up for 5.5 minutes but yesterday i only warmed-up for 3 minutes and it was super cold outside, so maybe i should've warmed-up for something closer to 8 minutes. i have decided not to run today. i might do the elliptical or the recumbent bike instead. i want my shins to heal a tad before i go back to the mill. part of the problem may have to do with the fact that i need new running shoes.

last night the ca democratic party phoned me to confirm my enrollment as a volunteer. i need to call my local unit for an assignment and i guess i volunteer wherever they need me. i hope they don't need me to do a phone bank because i really dislike disturbing people with phone calls to persuade them during their dinner that my call is more important than their dinner. w.e. i'll be optimistic, maybe i'll be assigned to hold a kerry sign on the street corner so people can honk for support or flip me off and yell profanities at me for disagreeing!?!

i could really use some chocolate in my veins right about now. can they do that? i think that might ease my craving for swimming in a chocolate pool and drinking the chocolate water!

things that would help right now:
- a mug of l.a. burdick dark hot chocolate
- a goose down comforter draped over me at my desk
- having exercised for the day in the am
- having an atm card (so the cashier at safeway can't refuse my request for cashback with a check based on the fact that i haven't written 50 checks at that particular safeway!)
- having a balanced checkbook
- being more organized
- macy's and other retail places not decorating for chritmas in october!
- a new episode of scrubs now instead of later
- somebody answering this question: how can polls be open prior to election day? i don't understand how people are voting at polls already. please explain.

here's are useful $ tips that i should read when i'm in a better mood and have a working atm in my hands.

and where in the world is dad? this is odd.

a.c., when can i start volunteering at the aic?

state abbreviation for massachusetts

somebody just phoned to ask me the state abbreviation for massachusetts.

"it's m-a."
"are you sure about that."
"yes, it's definitely m-a."
"isn't that maine?"
"it's m-a. i lived there. maine is m-e."
"ok, thanks, bye."

she's cool but don't call me for an answer if you think you have the answer, even if it is wrong, and then question my answer which is right! ugh.

go kerry from m-a!

going home may be the answer

i really feel super sick now and i think i should head home so i don't repeat puking in my office garbage like i did a few years ago. that's was funny and embarrasing all wrapped into one. i'm sure connie and linsay were repulsed. read below for more info on this post.

incompetence

defined by webster's as the quality or state of being incompetent, which seems to be the modern day plague (i added to the definition). i love how the incompetent person's excuse for being incompetent is that they misunderstood or that they were talking about something different so their answer or actions were wrong because they were really trying to achieve something else! sorry to vent but i feel surrounded by a few incompetents and i'm not in the mood to deal with them and their excuses today.

it's tuesday and i feel like puking on my keyboard and going to sleep under my desk in the fashion of george costanza. i doubled up on pills last night and i think it was a bad idea to do on an empty stomach. i burped this morning and it tasted like poison from the medicine settling nearly 12 hours later. yuck! on top of feeling gross, i need to get 4 allergy shots at lunch, find something professional yet creative to wear to tomorrow's appointment (thanks to amanda and ralph for making me paranoid!), go to gram's for dinner, have a pt session after dinner at gram's neighbors house (who is conveniently my pt), and then cram in enough sleep to wake up at the crack of dawn in order to not be late to tomorrow's very important appointment in the city. i feel like crap and my stomach is still unsettled. any tips on what do do for a pukey stomach? my attempt at a cure will be to sneak 10 lollipops from the allergy department's office and then eat them in my car. i packed taco salad leftovers for lunch but the idea of that makes me want to gag. the smell of the green onions is pungent and unappealing today.

relatives are in town and one brought her dog, fendi, a deer head (their eyes aren't as bulgey and they don't have the apple head, they look like a deer!) chihauhau who is cocoa brown with a few white spots (sarah told me that this type tends to a better fur color variety- since they are difficult to breed it creates nice colors- something like that). she is adorable and to my surpise dog got along with fendi quite well. i think the main plus was the fact that fendi is brave and not nervous. dog is so cute around her because she tries to be gentle since she is nearly 5 times the size of fendi. i want to get a deer head chihauhau now but i'm worried i'd accidentally step on it since they are so tiny.

ouch...i just smiled and my lips cracked! damn person for making me laugh!

list of things to do tonight so i don't forget something important
- shower
- dinner @ gram's
- pt
- print resume and references, add reference, remove reference (5)
- get directions to appointment
- call roo for traffic tips
- iron outfit
- iron hair
- shine shoes
- read up on appointment institution
- nails
- wrap gifts
- ask ralph to walk dog in the am
- get sleep
*set alarm clock for 5 am in order to not be stuck in traffic for 5 hours and to find a parking spot within 5 miles of my desired location!*

have i forgotten anything?

i'm tired already. wish me luck with my tasks and with my appointment!

the garden blowers

note: pics posted under maui entry

this morning i woke up with really bad allergies. well, to clarify, i already have really bad allergies to everything under the sun but i think they have escalated due to the fact that i've re-enterred my very allergic environment (because of dog :( she's my main allergy) and my body wants to be back in maui where there are no signs of fall. i shrugged it off and took a shower; my nose was an additional faucet much like the shower head. i continued with my morning routine by giving dog her wake up call and walking her around the neighborhood for the am poop and pee. i sware to you that it must've been garden blower day today because every yard had a garden blower guy blowing! i was so mad because i was being bombarded with dust, pollen, leaves (and to somebody with bad allergies, freddy kreuger may as well be coming after you, despite the fact that it just looks like a big cloud of dust to the average person)- all flying at me at 30 mph, or whatever speed those things blow at! don't they know that eveybody hates that they have to blow yards- the noise, the dust, the pollen, the timing (always in the early am when we could all use those extra 5 minutes!!!). why can't the yard have a few leaves, a little pollen? why do we feel we need to keep our yards so manicicured that these garden blowers are a necessity for the common household?!!! and why do they have to plague my life???!!! this morning dog and i walked in the middle of the street in order to avoid garden blowers on both sides, who often don't stop blowing just because you walk by. it made me really dislike them for what they do, kinda like how i dislike meter maids. i don't care if its fair to them or not because they add a dash of unpleasantness to my life. i will remember not to walk at 8:20 am on thursdays from this point on! now i need a cocktail- alavert, singulair, and zyrtec- this has sleepy work day written all over it! am i unovertly forming an allergy complainers forum?

i then went to have my teeth cleaned, which was lovely. i love going to the dentist. if i could go every week i would but now i have to wait until march to have them cleaned and polished because of insurance and all that bureaucratic stuff that actually limits the amount of times a person can have their teeth cleaned and polished each year. i do have an appointment to have grinding trays molded since my old one is worn down. it'll also be nice because they can make more whitening trays since my fangs made holes in those. jeez...what am i so stressed about?

when i came in to work i was unhappy to find that my phone receiver must have been spreayed with parfume, and lots of it! i checked my voicemail and made some quickie calls and then the headache began (from the allergies) from the fumes of the pungent spray, really, a skunk's spray would've been more pleasant- at least it's organic. after cleaning it 10 times with alcohol pads and boiling hot water, i went downstairs to complain to amanda, and i was a little worried that if i kept wetting the handset, that i might get electrocuted! amanda helped me by listening and referring me to the phone guy. he was nice enough to give me a white handset for my gray phone. now my desk looks legoesque. i guess i'll continue to work on my gray piece in all my spare time! and as an fyi- if you work in an office, don't forget to clean your ears (ear wax on the ear piece!), brush your teeth (left over bad breath fumes on the mouth piece!), and not swim in your parfume (residual parfume all over the phone but especially in the cracks!!!!), if you plan to use your co-worker's phone!!!

last night i watched the sigfreud (sp?) & roy special with maria shriver (after we ate at wahoo's which was new to me and quite yummy. i couldn't tell if my mahi mahi was really chicken so that was a bit odd- we decided it was fish). and might i add, it's true what they say about couples...they grow to look more alike as time passes. maria shriver looks like the anorexic female version of ah-nald! quite scary. anyways, the interview was so touching that i had to cry. sig is so nice to roy and he's so encouraging. and roy is so grateful to be alive despite his set physical changes. he has to do pt 6 hours per day, 6 days a week! he's my inspiration because of his optimistic and appreciative outlook on life!

after that i watched sex in the city and had to ignore ralph's pleas so that i could watch my show. it's so hillarious! and i got free therapy from last night's episode because carrie was going to a therapist- she wondered why she attracts certain types of men and the therapist pointed out that she has a part in the selection, and that maybe her problem is the men she chooses. what insight! something to think about.

let me count the ways...

let me count the ways that coffee can destroy my stomach. and let's not forget tea. my two favorite drinks in all the world next to water (does water count?)- i think i am the bubba gump of teas (please speak in a southern accent!!): apple blossom green tea, tazo passion tea, pearl lychee tea, decaf black tea with cream hold the sugar, jasmine tea, and on and on. i mention the coffee because amanda and i had moonbeams' mocha freezes for lunch, well, and a tuna sandwich from andronico's. but the mocha freeze wins hands down! i'm trying to control my uncontrollable stomach spasms with some meditative breathing but i'm afraid that's not going to do the trick today. maybe i should move on to the pink stuf.

work is not the same without lindsay (aka, scrappy). when i talk out loud about getting ripped off at conference centers because their pricing is ridiculously high, nobody responds to me anymore. guess i'm just the crazy lady who talks to herself in her fish bowl of a cube. now i just need a fish to join me. maybe i can bring sean paul (my beta) from home and set-up his aquarium next to my desk and he can respond to me. if i could bring dog that would be even better.

well, i'm back from maui and it was too relaxing and too beautiful to suddenly be tossed back into the real world, called my life. they need a special program where they take you to less and less serene locations on the way home, so you're not immediartely shocked into your environment, thereby needing another vacation. going through security on the maui end was enough to warrant another week on the island, not to count the obnoxious woman behind us in the baggage check line, who we were lucky enough to sit next to on the plane. every time a baby cried on the plane, she would loudly request that the parents place a pillow over their faces to shut them up. by the end of the plane ride, it's safe to say that i wanted to put a pillow over her face.

i came to work to over 100 emails and not too many voice mails- thank goodness. i have 10 trillion tasks to complete by the end of tomorrow and i really think they need to clone me if it gets much busier at work. i'm comforted by the fact that i have a facial with robin on saturday and then roo and i are going to get pedicures and manicures. my nails have sand imbedded so deeply into the skin that i feel bad for the manicurist. maybe i can get a head start on them tonight so i don't do a dumb and dumber re-enactment with any power tools.

i've also been obsessed with the idea of ralph moving back to southern california- a topic i tried not to think about until i was forced to on the last day of vacation. although it was menioned in passing as a "disagreement" outlet, i know his move is inevitable. there are two types of people in this great state: northern ca and southern ca people. we're different types (he loves the heat and i love the seasons)- we'll see how this plays out. can't we all just get along and move to maui?! ;) i'm sure the locals would love that!

thaks goodness for the highlight of my day- i came into chocolate showers! andrea brought me some white chocolate from geneva and amanda brought me some raspberry pinot noir chocolate sauce from her trip to sonoma from hop kiln winery. i can't wait to drink the chocolate sauce as i eat my white chocolate for dinner! it's a good day!!!

my daily journal from maui will be posted this evening. i was typing it up yesterday but the burning sensation in my wrists was too much to continue typing. besides, it was nicer to meet amanda at ten ren for pearl teas. they put a lychee in my drink and that made my sunday! i like having each day made by something!

ahhhh....

tin man type of day

well, i made it out alive! after all that cleaning my hip feels as though i am the tin man and i need lots of oil! that's what he needed, right, or was it a heart?! my room still looks messy but at least there aren't clothes scattered about and there is now a clear path from the door to the AC. my toilet room is sparkling and 1/2 of the living room is spotless (i'll just ask guests to close their eyes when they get to the other half). i managed to spend 2 hours cleaning my car- it was detailed by ralph (and i helped a bit, too! ;) ). my main question is, in a whole day of cleaning, how can it look like i did so little? enough for now on cleaning. anyways, thanks to tin man status, i have a PT appt. with kyle after work so no hiking today. :( just when i thought i was done with forcing my body into insane stretches and manipulations, my body has decided that i need a little more excruciating pain because feeling like there are 10 million eels attached to my butt isn't enough.

i just returned from allergy shots and it was a lot better than last time. maybe this shot nurse had a better technique or maybe i'm having less of a reaction to the allergen.

i feel ho hum right now. i have a headache and i'm hoping that it doesn't turn into a migraine because i have to cook two dinners tonight. i'm sad because some good people are leaving my job. :( i'll miss them but i'm hoping to be gone soon, too, so i can have some new challenges. know of anything good? i'm also sad because i packed a bad lunch. thank goodness lindsay saved me some pesto pasta. i don't know how my body would handle another frozen meal or a can of tuna. i'm probably approaching mercury poisoning status with the way i eat tuna.

i'm so addicted to chocolate today! must be hormones acting crazy or something, just like the headache. i could also really go for a bubble (tapioca) tea but i'm not sure if it makes sense to drive to san jose right now (a 30 minute drive) for 8 ounces of pleasure that i slurp up in 3 minutes time- maybe on the way home?! i'm addicted to bubble teas, thanks amanda! if anybody has tips on how to make them please let me know. i tried prying some info from the tea guy but he was tight lipped about the whole thing. wouldn't tell me the calorie count, nor where to buy lychee syrup. he had a smile on his face like he wanted to tell me but i'm sure he was on camera and might be fired if he leaked the secret. now i just spy on them as they make my drink. and the trick is to ask them one thing each time you go in- is there dairy in this, or is it non-dairy, is there sugar? it reminds me of i spy but in this game you are permitted one question per paid tea and you can't be too obvious. here's a link that the tea guy must not know about because they spill the beans right here. now i want to parade around outside the tea shop in a bear costume holding a big cardboard sign with this web address on it, dancing around like a maniac- like you often see on street corners for apartment advertising.

it's almost halloween (61 days and counting)- and i'm getting excited!!! i plan on being a bee and dog will be a spider. she already looks like a spider and she'll bite you like one too, if you annoy her enough. last night she was really pissed at ralph because he didn't pay enough attention to her during the day- apparently there's an attention quota on the weekends. what a priss! she does this funny thing where she'll ignore you as though she's torturing you...thoughts such as these race through her little dog brain, "eat your heart out. i'll never let you pet me again. what a sad day for you!"

well, enough for now. time to find some something for this headache. i'll post pics tonight. and be on the look out for ralph's month-o-halloween!